WORDS FAIL

So basically, you’re meant to say ten things to ten people without saying their names. Maybe it’s healthy. So here goes.

1. For so long I let your hatred and your bitterness towards me effect the way I saw myself. I assumed that you being unable to forgive me was a reflection on me, meant that I didn’t deserve it. It took me a long time, but I’ve finally realized that I never needed your forgiveness, only my own. And for what it’s worth, I forgive you too.

2. I’ll always protect you, you’ve been raised as my sister and I love you and your brother to death. I know he’s hurting and we’ll help him because it’s been us against the world so many times and we’ve always, always pulled through. I’m so proud of you and the steps you’ve become to be the person I know you can be.

3. You’re the only person who has the ability to strike fear into me – not as in I’m scared for you, which I am, but as in I’m scared of how I’ll go living without you. I hear how he makes you hurt and I hate it -it’s like he can steal a little bit more of you away each time and I don’t think you realize, that the way you fear losing him is similar to the way I fear losing you. You’re my sister in each and every way the meaning counts and if I were to lose you, it would be the same as if you were to lose him. And you know how much I hate that, needing a friend or family member because I’ve always been so set on only needing myself. But I’ve come to rely on you, and I’m scared of losing that. But I don’t know how to hold on. I’m trusting you with this one, sister. ‘Cause I do loveoo.

4. Our history is long, and the wounds have cut so deep that I can’t even feel them anymore. They say time heals all wounds, but times made this one worse. But it’s okay. I can live without you.

5. I miss you. I love you. Live free, swim with your dolphins and know you changed my world for the better.

6. Sometimes people disappoint you, but I still love you. I’m just not sure I know you anymore.

7. Why can’t I trust you?

8. You’re a good friend. We laugh and talk for hours, and hours, and we fangirl and go crazy and you just know how to heal me. So thank you.

9. Our bond is deep and strong and I love that you understand me and music. It makes me feel like maybe you understand everything.

10. I’m not afraid of you.